mind wastes

cram up rhymes in nursery. Get into a good school. fight through you skin for every extra mark. Learn art, music or ... to win extra-curricular competitions. Please your elders. Be the apple of ur teachers eyes. Punctual, smart, tidy and obedient. pass out of school with good percentages. get into a good reputed university. Try to be different. Brag about your talent, get good grades, boast about your last geekism. get a job that pays well or a ticket to some good university for higher studies. Sell colas, soaps, write softwares. Feel happy on receiving sms alert from your bank. invest in MFs, insurances, bonds. Live a 2 day life on weekends. Shop for brands, buy a car and wish for a longer one. drink more coffees than water. Buy a flat in some appartment on EMI and wish to build your dream house someday. Marry and get yourself a trophy wife. give birth to children. spank your child when he/she fails. Put in all effort to prove your child is a prodigy. Push him to lead the life that u had lived. At work, bag projects, please your boss with occasional gifts expecting bestowals in return. Damn and curse your fate for being overlooked on occasions. Annual vacations, weekend family lunch, anniversary parties. Donate to NGOs either to get tax concession or to boast in your social circle. Boast about your child's success. Feel delighted when your child graduates with good grades. Retire to a peaceful life, Morning walk, community discussions, diet control. reminisce and retrospect your past every morning. Go for weekly health checkups paid by your health insurance. And one day die in some hospital. Leave behind enough assets to be praised by your son and get remembered for the next 2 generation.


disapprove your parents ways. bunk classes, write fake application to schools. Bluff abt your exploits and brag about your contacts with the local goons. Get into fight at the slightest opportunity. Red marks on school report card.hate classes and call teachers names. swear and make obscene signs. somehow pass out of school. get into some shit university. Or may be discontinue study. Spend your time on cigarattes, gutkhas and alcohol and slowly graduate to marijuana and its like. Get loathed by parents and relatives. Buy a bike on loan that you wont repay. Pass lewd comments on gals. visit police lockups frequently. Finally either land up with a low paying job or start some crappy shady business. Fail tremendously and be detested by society for rest of your life. Get married to some innocent girl. get drunk everynite and scold her with expletives. With age you gradually calm down. But its too late. fight miseries, sufferings and scarcity. Meet your successful school friends and feel dejected when they invite you for a drink in a classy elegant pub. either die young or crawl all through out your life. When your life ends you would be forgotten immediately after your last rites.


and the third kind. Live life the way you wish to. Do not get conventions shape your life. Do not try to be different. Do not try to be similiar. Do not try. Let life flow the way it has to. You may not amass huge wealth. You wont be remembered after death. But you will remember your life all life long.

How to turn away frustration

take time off from your schedule to cook at home. this is the most practical and the most adopted way of relieving stress.

Do something different and whacky. Something that is completely unrelated to your profession. Sell puchka in the evening,work in a road side dhaba during the weekends, or better beg alms.

give missed calls or rather threatening calls to your enemy. But remember to use a public booth.

Wham – Bham!!! and its over. No veiled intentions, no enmity, no ill will. Eradicate the root. A gun in a holster, that’s all you need. You feel your cook is troubling you. Open your holster and wham-Bham. Its over. Your neighbours having problem with your loud music, Wham-Bham. Your friend is bugging you, Wham-Bham. Why loose sleep over niggling disputes? Why enter into recurrent phases of depression?

open a fightclub in your locality :)

Its getting late for my office. I better move now.

The Blog is not a panoptic analysis of the money making business at traffic signals. Rather its just my views after watching the movie. Heard that its an ill-conceived movie. Thank god I dint watch it completely.

Is it really a million dollar business? The trivias shared in between the movie say that the annual turnover of beggars in mumbai is 180 crore. Whoa... trivias are always questionable but when a beautiful lass(anchor) says it, you have to beleive it. I read this blog about a millionaire beggar massu in mumbai.It says that he has got assets worth 300 million rupees. That's too huge an amount to make lexicographers rethink. Is the figure right. Isnt that the figure that sabeer bhatia got by selling Hotmail ,although in a stronger currency. If the people below-poverty-line are millionaires then our country's economy is really booming.

Everyday I see moth-eaten dressed beggars at traffic signal. Some are one eyed, some one legged. The sight would render compassion for the beggars. But when you think of 300 million rupees. Compassions transforms into pity for self. Can no where match his assets although I lead a far better life than their filthy lifestyle.

This reminds me a popular theory by Steve D Levitt. Why do drug dealers live with their mom? He had done some intelligent calculation to deduce that drug dealing might be lucrative but the ones at the bottom rung work for mere pittance. Hence they cant afford to buy a house for themselves and stay with their mom.

Lemme try a similiar kind of calculation on the new issue. How rich are beggars? Lets take our analysis to the streets of mumbai. Google result has got too much data about mumbai than any other city. I found that mumbai streets has got 100,000 beggars. and with a beggar couple producing 6 children in a life time their population is fast increasing. An extra child mean 2 more hands to beg and 10-12 more man hour of begging.
So 180 crore is the total income of 1 lakh people that makes it 18000 rupees. Thats far ahead of India's per capita income of 12416. But the per capita income of mumbai is 48594 Rs. Now 18000 rupess seems too low. Its equal to 49 rupees per day.(remember beggars work 365 days a year). This 49 rupees doesnt include the money that thay pay as rent for using the pavement. The Gini coefficient for India is 0.37 to 0.42. Thats a good enough skew to have beggars earning less than 20 rupees per day with their stronger compatriots earning around 450 rupees a day. That explains the case of the millionaire beggar and the one legged and one eyed beggars that i see every day at the traffic signal.

Now let's take a look at their expenditure. They spend around 20-30 rupees a day on their food and save the rest 19 rupees. Their annual savings is (19*365)=6935. And if we consider some beggar's career span lasting for 50 years (they sart earning too early) then total savings of his life time equals 346750 . So the myths about dead beggars leaving behind lakhs of rupees for trusts can indeed be true. here I havent considered the affluent beggars.

The cause of rising indian population is attributed to poverty and illiteracy. In case of beggars a extra child means extra hands to beg and extra compassion from their customers. their business thrives by exploiting human emotions and guilty conscience. An article in rediff says that a child or a girl evokes more compassion and hence better income. So beggar couples care the least about population explosion and keep on adding to it handsomely. The silver lining is they increase the female population and hence balance the sex ratio of india.

Beggars are indeed a major force in our economy.If beggars are considered to belong to the lower strata of the society then where do i belong to. lexicographers should include the word "affluent beggars" to make people like me feel economically secured. :)

what do i do when i have got nothing to do? well I get bored.
what did i use to do earlier when i had nothing to do? well i used to blog.

I havent blogged for the last one year, although i hadnt stopped writing. Now suddenly i feel the urge to resume blogging. But i need a topic to write about. here goes my shot at blogging after one year.

"tumhara naam kya hai?" ,"tumhara naam kya hai?", ......... i could here the same question repeated some four to five times. i was in some Neverland at that time. I must be dreaming then. But who would ask me such questions in my dreams. I opened my eyes to find a little girl sitting near my head. i dismissed all this as an offshoot of my dream. Where else do you she such angels other than your dreams. The little angel saw me open my eyes. She expected an answer. i did not respond. she retorted "tumhe apna naam pata nahin. kaise aadmi ho. mujhe toh sabka naam pata hai. mere mummy kaa naam ...jain hai, mere papa kaa naam ....jain hai, mere chahci ka naam ....jain hai. mere dada ka naam ... jain hai ............................................(after naming all the probable jains) uffff mein toh apni chahcha ka naam bolna bhool gayi unka naam .....jain hai. tumhe khudka naam pata nahin". By now i was sure that I wasn't dreaming. Angels seldom talk so much in dreams. I responded " mera naam Golak hai".
"kya dholak. he he he yeah kaisa naam hai".
"nahin Golak. G for GOD. Golak"
"GHOLAK"
"Haan woh bhi chalega. wats your name?"
"sristhi jain"
"what does you papa do?"
"mere papa naa ... mere papa naa enterprise bechte hain"
"what?????"
"wahan pe woh maal bechte hain. tumhe agar maal chahiye toh mere papa ko bolna woh maal dela denge tumhe"
His father was listening to the conversation. He replied immediately lest i may develop my own notion about his business.
" my shop name is 'SHYAM ENTERPRISE' and i deal with marbles"
"oh good", i replied back.
Then sristhi jumped fom my seat to another and started showing her childish heroic acrobatics. Life is so simple as a child.No distress, no tension. I wondered how this child would lose her innocence after a few years. She would think a thousand times before being stupid. I deduced that all those thoughts that hunt your mind are the sole reason for all the distress of you life.

I was on my way to bangalore. I had quit my job in kolkata. I hadn't informed at home. I had no plans to follow. My bank account wouldn't be credited anymore with my salary at the end of the month. As any IT aspirant I was moving to bangalore, touted as the city of oportunity for IT engineers. I was one of those dubious shit, a Software engineer. I had a thousand thoughts hunting my mind.

With nothing to do i again went back to sleep. This time somebody hit my legs very softly. i opened my eyes. she was smiling or infact laughing at me. Was she laughing at my sluggishness. what could i have done? I have been a part of the IT industry for one long year. my phlegmatic life had lost all the juvenile vigour.

"tum itna kyon so rahe ho arrrrrrey" ( she had a very peculiar way of saying arrrrrey)
"raat ko soya nahin tha"
"dekha mein kaise jump marti hun. kya tum mar sakte ho?"
i nodded my denial.
"mere papa bhi jump marr nahin sakte"

I have aged a lot.I am just 22 now why am i behaving like a 40 year old slug. I jumped from my seat to the aisle.

she shouted "papa dekho bhaiya kaise shaktiman ki tarah jump mare"

"shaktiman toh kabka khatam ho chuka hai. woh toh mein school days mein dekhta tha. tum kaise janti ho shaktiman ko"

"mere pass shaktiman ka bahut saara comics hai. mere chacha leye hain."

Uhh how i miss watching cartoons and reading comics. Those days of watching TOM and JERRY. Now am playing that part in my real life. Me being jerry and melancholy being TOM. sristhi was laughing at the new TOM and JERRY chase, the same way i used to roar with laughter while watching the cartoon during my childhood.

In the evening i watched her play a game of card with another kid passenger. It was an interesting game which had no rules. Since it was sristhi's cards so whatever she decided was the rule for the game. Their was no scope for cheating. You cheat to escape from rules but when there is no rule as such so what will you hide from. She changed the rules as per her wish. she dint change it to enhance her winning chances. she would always end up losing. I could not understand the game. You just cant understand it if you do not have the brains of a child. Both the kids were enjoying it. And i was enjoying the smiles on their face?

Finally i reached bangalore.So what next? where do i start from? I was received by my friends. They dint go to office that day. Kuheli came back from office early to meet me. Then started the late night masti. Breakfast at 1:00 P.M. lunch at 6:00 p.m. and dinner at 2:00 a.m. You go out to have breakfast then somebody would say, dont feel like going out lets have it tomoro. its too weird. i was told that its the "YO" style. Everything I did wasnt "YO" and all that my friends did was "YO". You keep ur house like a pig shed - thats "YO". you go to office in shabby dress- thats "YO". I was back to my college days. No tension no stress. I dint have anything to worry about. No job. what the hell? no probs. I was succumbing to the "feeling comfortably numb" theme of their "YO" world. Late night movies , pubs and frolic. we had a telegu movie marathon. I liked it. Amidst all this i forgot the whole purpose of coming to bangalore. I no where seemed like a person searching for job. Sristhi should have seen me this way. Thanks to my lady luck i landed up with a job. If it hadnt been for the moments of seriousness i would have still been jobless. Both of them through telephonic interviews and video conference. i wonder why did i come to bangalore. I hadnt applied for a single job after coming to bangalore.

Now i feel that i have passed on the baton to sristhi. Its her days to play around and behave stupidly with life. I cant. i wont be permitted to do so. I have to be distressed and I have to be tensed. Thats How i have to continue.

i was heading towards the auto stand when unanticipatedly out of no where an old lady drew my attention. she called me to her side. she was holding two huge bags( the ones used for carrying groceries) packed with her clothes. she was finding it difficult even to lift it. feeling pity for this old lady i responded to her call and went near her. i could not understand what to do. she was mumbling something to me. at first her delirious words made no sense. but with much difficulty i came in terms with her ways of talking. she spoke in length about her grandchild who used to get her medicines and according to her she took good care of her. and she started crying. her eyes were filled with pain. from her words i could comprehend tht she had just been kicked out of her son's house. she must be in her eighties. and look what her son had done. a naive son. her son reciprocated to the love and care with ingratitude by kicking her out of house. thts barbaric. a savegly act. the old lady then picked up her bags and trudged in her way. i stood there dumbfounded for some moment. Baffled by her act and also by my ignorant and numb response to her words i stood there pondering abt all tht i heard. i had seen it in movies but had never felt it to such an extent. although when i was in class seven i had met an old man who had the same history and tht person had been driven out of his house by her daughter-in-law. but his recital didnot evoke any emotions nor did it move me. i took tht man to the jagannath temple where he intended to beg and spend the rest of his life. but yesterday's incident was heart touching.
later on i narrated the incident to swarup. he said tht all this happens in poor families, who have a depleted economic resource and hence resort to these disgraceful act. but what has money to do with love for ur parents. its all insanity. if i could feel the pain of tht old lady couldnt her own son feel it. he must have turned a deaf ear towards her plights for some selfish reason of his. Swarup blamed the daughter-in-law for this. but its the son who should bear the major chunk of guilt. after all they are his parents and not his wife's

there were hundreds of people walking on the pavement. but why did tht old lady choose me to narrate her sorrowful and miserable story. was i expected to help her? but how? this has been disturbing me. at least i should have helped her with her luggage and walked with her till her destination. or better i should have tried to console her a bit. i do feel bad for not doing my bit in helping her. but what could i have done?

these are the replies to my " dil chahta hai but not this" which had been mailed to me. as suggested by NAK am putting up here
barik said:
this is a great senti. i have also thought about missing friends but i had thought i wont express it.why shall we cry of thinking of departing?lets cry after being departed..now we should enjoy our life the fullest...lets make some more plans...lets take more 10gbs of photographs.....
and bye the way it was not me who had stopped replying that day......i was continuously sending my pjs :)
come to the college

NAK said:
All of us , all of us , and by all i mean all , love u . Its just that
1 day, rather 1 nite , things dint go ur way , rather our way , so
from that u derived what frnds you are breeding . Actually i was in a
daaru party , involving susu , me and Nishant . And dont get
frustrated , its just your fault , we miss you so many times in hostel
. But then i would say it is nobody's fault , everything is destined
as Susu says , or as i say , nothing is bigger than the game . Anyways
i am thinking of adding Vinita in Orkut , but only with ur permission
. aau tu bhi jaldi add heija orkut re , i have something serios to
tell u , something which i felt on my birthday nite . Anyways ," A
million words couldn't bring you back, i know because i've tried.
Neither could a million tears, i know because i've cried... " is what
is going to happen to us in 2 months time . So chill yaar , take it
easy yaar and relax yaar.

Amit gupta said:
Am not going to say sorry because it will not gng 2 help u. But i feel sorry 4 my ignorance .I have not hope ki my fnd get hurt if i dont respond him in better way. U have opened my eyes yaar.1 thing i can promise is dat no 1 have 2 write these stuffs in future.From my side, Golu u r a sweet n unforgetable fnd. Really we all love u n will miss u till the end of our lives

Defied the scorching sun, defied the financial blemishes, defied the academic constraints, defied the defiance of mind to have fun in the last 6 months of engineering. Now when I sit down to relish the thoughts I wonder could it have been better. I have no regrets and no complain on the turn of events of this last 6 months. I do remember me and NAK deciding, during our trip to vijaywada, to do nothing other than socialising in this six months. And when I look back I do feel satisfied with the lot amount of socializing that we have done. Wherever I look I find a friend. I was never alone during this last semester. And now am sitting here all alone pondering about the new chapter that would get unfurled in a matter of a month or two.
I feel disturbed for the last few days. Is it because am parting with my friends or am I missing the times. I may meet my friends again but no more would we have those carefree discussions. Their won’t be the buoyant KHATTIS at the juice point, under the shades of canteen tree or the Nescafe centre. I would never again be able to bunk the classes and make faces behind the teachers. I would miss each and every moments with my friends.
I just cant forget the night out at the railway station, the obnoxious ways of having lunch at Nandan kanan, the tripling bike rides to different places, the barbecue at sikharchandi, the diving in the muddy water of derras, the tug-of-war at tikarpada sanctuary, the tranquilising trip to RPRC, the endless khattis at the juice point, the quote “ ame hazar kilometer asile _______ karibaku”, the heroic fight at the IIT tech fest, those sleepless nights for souvenir, the fight for a share of cold coffee, the ways of fantasizing ideas, the creativity ( the naughty ones) in seminars, the THAASes and PJs. I just can’t forget. I can still feel the sea waves dashing over my head and I can still feel the safe hands of my friend at my side helping me to overcome the wave currents. I miss distributing rol-a-cola. I miss speaking high about the delicacies of puri. I miss persuading friends for outings and parties. I miss the spirit of quizzing and qutopia. I miss a lot which when put into words won’t carry the right emotions along with it.

Someone had said to me, " ok golak agreed that you people are parting. Even we are but is there any need to cry".
For someone who has huge repository of sweet memories, it surely hurts to part. For the last 2 months it had been kind of a scary recurring dream and now it’s a reality. We people have parted. On the day of farewell I felt like there are many a faces that I may never again see in my life. Now am drained with emotions and guess what am listening to “Vitamin C - Graduation” probably its playing for the 5th time. I want to thank each and every one I have come across during these 4 years for the wonderful time I have spent with them. Am going to miss EXTREME CONCEPT, CODE, the TEAM, the GOSTHI and the whole bunch of friends.


rice, dal, alubharta is what we cooked at derras for lunch. whoever hears this cocks-a snook at the menu. But only the ones who had been on that trip know the extent to which we had fun.