mind wastes

its been close to a month( if the last idiotic article isnt considered) since i had last blogged. the this month has been too hectic with exams and the trip to kgp.although my mind had been doing its usual work of generating wastes,but i couldnot find time to dump them over here. since am blogging after a long time so surely its gonna be big one. after the ecstatic december of 2005 my thoughts had been working overtime making plans for the last three months of my engineering career. but ne ways its too early to be nostalgic and write abt the fine time i had here in kiit.so lemme write abt all tht i had been feeling, thinking,experiencing,........ all through this month.

to start with i read this blog of one of my classmate or should i call friend. she had mentioned abt her brother in her blog. how he married his childhood love after courting her for eight long years. aaaahha.i tried to find out more about tht unfamiliar character. and the more i knew abt him the unfamiliarity vanished like vapours into thin air. the unjust god had doled me the dreams and the achievements to him.passed out from iit. then did his MBA at IIM-A. worked for JPMorgan at hongkong. and then married his childhood love. wat else can u ask from life.these were something i had once dreamed of but had failed and had been defeated by fate( if it really exists) everynow and then. i envy him. since i came to know abt him not a single idle time has passed by without my wandering mind thinking abt him. his achievements have been haunting me since then. why its him and not me ? is there something bigger in store for me. should change the topic before frustration takes me under its control and i stop blogging.

achha the next thing tht i had been thinking of these days is the two-faced monster hidden in every man(dont know abt the woman may be true for them too). does this have something to do with the 23rd chromosome.why do men behave differently in front of girls and even if they dont they are made to behave differently by the circumstance.cant speak slang or the oft used four letterd word when they are with the fairer se x .the sudden change in attitude and behaviour is quite noticeable in man in presence of any lady. the type of jokes change. the kind of fun change. is it really required to portray urself as a gentleman even though u r not. this fake portrayal suffocates me. one thing tht i liked abt the students at kgp was tht they didnot mind smoking even in front of girls. if u r tht much ashamed of smoking then why dont u quit it instead of faking a mr. goody image of urs. its as though the girls are the ultimate judges who would pass on the judgement on u. so u try to be as good as possible in front of them. get the coke for the girl even if it means kicking ur friend. two days back i was talkin to kuheli. and i felt as though some invisible force was holding me back from speaking watever came to my mind. why so. cant i talk to her the way i talk with my other friends. so golak wat abt ur sanskriti and principles. havent yet given a thought towards tht. do they really exist. my parents must have just passed on some generation old advices without checking its veracity. its illogical to abide by something tht u dont believe in.

ok something else i have been thinking of is about freedom. u realise the value of freedom only if u r chained.i realised this tht day at iit kgp when the girls were very much eager to have a night out. far away frm the shackles of the ladies hostel jail they behaved like those freed birds eager to flap their wings at every opportunity. i could read the excitement in their eyes. to understand the value of freedom ask someone who isnt free.but how could they rely on the boys to have a nite out. it was like taking the help of japanese to free india. wat if the japanese had taken over the reins after freeing india from the britishers. find ur own way towards freedom. thts wat i felt tht day. nite out among the drunkards and doped. its like freeing urself from the cage into the jungle to be fed by the lions. neways it was their way of enjoying freedom. but to be true i found it really an imbecile idea to enjoy among the drunkards. neways.......

ok just now somebody asked me to write abt the movie tht i saw today. Rang De Basanti. should i mention the plot or wat i felt on watching tht. no i dont feel like writing abt it. i liked the movie and it was inspiring thts it.

cant write ne more. my fingers are aching . will write the rest some other time